Quick life update: I finished the spring semester at ISU with a 3.42. On May 10th, I started my internship in Chicago, really a suburb of Chicago. I am working on the Historic Wagner Farm in Glenview, IL. This is the last farm in Cook County and has a lot of history with it.
(Google Image)
During the past few weeks, I have been doing some self-reflection. This job has pushed me to learn so quickly, I have learned new things and really developed my ability to work independently. Somewhere within my first month of working here, a quote caught my eye, it said something along the lines of “they wouldn’t have hired you if they didn’t think you were qualified.” This quote has changed my perspective incredibly.
Coming into my position at the farm, I was one of the few females that worked at the farm, and the only one to work with the livestock. This was incredibly challenging in a male-dominated workplace. My boss is very open to having conversations about anything, and there are many times where we have talked about women in agriculture and the stereotypes around it. (I seriously cannot thank him enough for listening, and being willing to change what he can.)
(Sleepy pigs after an afternoon snack)
About three weeks into my internship, I was left to learn on my own. I could always ask for help when needed, but I was expected to organize and work my day as needed. This was extremely stressful for me. I started doubting my qualifications, my determination, and most of all my worth. I felt like I shouldn’t have been the one hired. Then I found the quote, “they wouldn’t have hired you if they didn’t think you were qualified.” This clicked in my head, I started telling myself that they wouldn’t have hired me if they didn’t believe in me. This pushed me to work harder, to ask for help when needed, to be independent.
I found the drive, energy, and passion to show my qualifications, determination, and my worth. I worked my butt off to understand as many aspects of the farm. I asked the “dumb” questions, I asked for help when needed, I received encouragement from my coworkers. Once my courage started to rise, my boss left for three weeks. He welcomed a baby girl into the world early in June with his wife. During those three weeks, two cows calved, we hosted a show, the lambs got ill, everything started to gain weight, and so much more. I finally felt like I was supposed to be at the farm. My leadership abilities showed through, my knowledge was enough to help me continue to learn, and my determination made me successful. I was on fire, on top of the world. The hardest three weeks of not having direct guidance was what I needed to push myself.
(Hazel and Clover on the day she was born.)
This internship has been everything I needed, everything that was necessary to push myself to be the person I always wanted to be. This internship has not been easy, it has been by far one of my hardest to deal with personally. My mental health is struggling daily, my exhaustion levels are high, and someone always reminds me that I am so close to going back to school. This summer has been my hardest goodbyes to my favorite people, I miss so much back home.
My study abroad was hard, but I had roommates, people to come home to after class. This internship, I don’t have people to come home to, I only have myself. I am the only person here for me every single day. This has been so hard for me. My personality wants to be surrounded by people all the time. This summer, I have learned to be okay with myself. I find things to develop my personality and passions more and more. I have done so much personal development, that I am beyond proud of myself. Not every day is easy, but life wouldn’t be fun then.
(I learned how to trim lamb's hooves.)
When put into a hard situation, make it work. Question your worth, only to prove it to yourself.
- With Love, Cambrie
(Just a cheesy smile with Wagner Farm gear)